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The first time I saw Kiss in concert was at Newcastle City Hall many moons ago, October 7th, 1984 to be precise (supported by a young Bon Jovi on their first visit to the UK), but tonight is a night I’ve been anticipating since May 2017. The reason is simple; the hedonistic, get your tits out, Kiss of the ’80s has been replaced with a much more family-friendly operation, and as much as I loved the old Kiss, I couldn’t see myself bringing my young kids to a gig. That was until I saw them perform in May 2017, and now I can’t wait.
The Hydro is busy. It’s a warm night, the greasepaint is starting to slip off many faces even before the doors open. There is no Bon Jovi to warm the crowd up tonight. David Garibaldi is an odd choice of support, but strangely, it works really well. My kids actually knew more about him than me, thanks to America’s Got Talent and extensive hours in front of YouTube. Garibaldi is a physical performance painter, doing the sort of stuff Rolf Harris used to be famous for on kids telly… before he became famous for something else. With ‘Crazy Train’ blasting through the speakers, it doesn’t take long for the crowd to get behind David as he throws shapes and paint in equal measure. Ozzy and Lennon are recreated. It’s very impressive, and the final portrait of Kiss is auctioned off for the Teenage Cancer Trust. A nice touch.
A quick clean-up of the stage and the tension starts to build. Everybody knows what is coming, but that doesn’t stop it from being genuinely exciting. “You wanted the best, you got the best. The hottest band in the world: KISS!” (I’m smiling even as I type this) The curtain falls and “Detroit Rock City” kicks the show off. The band is (natch) lowered to the stage on saucers, amid smoke, lasers, flames, sparklers, dry ice, and a cheer that comes close to drowning them out.
The band are looking in great shape. It seems churlish to mention their ages, but Gene and Paul are both pensioners. ‘Still Game’ you betcha, but Jack n Victor they are not. They don’t stop moving, stomping about in the most ludicrous, fantastic boots. They put guys half their age to shame. The hits come fast and furious, nearly every song accompanied by a barrage of lights, explosions, flares, and pyro. ‘I Love It Loud’, ‘Lick It Up’, ‘Heavens On Fire’… with no new album to plug, the setlist is just wall-to-wall classics. Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer both get chances to shine individually, with guitars that shoot flames and drum kits that float, but the gimmicks aren’t there to cover any musical shortcomings. These guys can really play.
Gene is whisked up to the rafters for the iconic “God of Thunder”, tongue flapping, blood slapping, and splattering everywhere, but there is a charm to this that brings a smile to all but the dullest face. Good family fun. Of course, Paul is not to be outdone, and fittingly, like Peter Pan (who also failed to grow old ), he zip lines from the main stage to a small stage at the rear of the venue to sing ‘Love Gun’ and the only decent disco song, ‘I Was Made For Loving You’. A grand piano pops up, pantomime style, for ‘Beth’ and a thousand phones light the venue in swinging arcs. The pyro goes into overdrive for ‘Black Diamond’ and off they troop… but not for long. Paul comes back with his Saltire guitar and the place is jumping. ‘Crazy Nights’ is truly epic; confetti cannons and balloons fill the hall, but the confetti keeps pumping out long after most bands would have started counting the pennies. If it’s worth doing, then do it big. On ‘Rock & Roll All Nite’ Gene and Tommy are swinging around on pneumatic arms, flames are shooting everywhere, lasers, explosions, sparklers, and a bloody full-scale firework display.
It’s sad to think that this is the end of the road for Kiss, but what a way to go, on top form and firing on all cylinders. The lights at the back of the stage spell out “Glasgow: Kiss loves you”. Well, we love you too.
Review and images – Callum Scott
